


Just like a prayer

by TheSSChestHair



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angst, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-01
Packaged: 2018-07-11 16:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7060453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSSChestHair/pseuds/TheSSChestHair
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zeus gives Killian a different purpose rather than send him back, but he’s granted the ability to visit Emma when she needs him most.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just like a prayer

**Author's Note:**

> I don't usually touch upon the subject of death but there's a first time for everything. I hope this isn't too cheesy or terribly written. It's also unbeta'd and was rushed out within the hour. Apart from that, I hope you enjoy!

**_ _ **

 

 

 

**_I hear you call my name_ **

**_And it feels like… home_ **

She walks into the dark bedroom; the room that should have been theirs. The sheets are new and untouched, spread out flat and neatly on the bed. The bed they never got to spend even one night in.

Emma doesn’t bother turning the light on. She doesn’t move at all, just closes her eyes, too lost in her thoughts of what could have been – what should have been. This whole house held promises of a future.

Lazy mornings and passionate nights, laughter-filled afternoons and warm evenings. It was all there, waiting for them.

Now it just felt empty.

A cold derelict place made of brick and timber.

It no longer felt like hers… not when it should have been theirs.

“Swan?”

Her heart skips a beat at the sound; picking up it’s pace to thump rapidly at her chest. She’s too scared to turn; terrified that she’d imagined his voice.

 

**_I hear your voice_ **

**_It’s like an angel sighing_ **

**_I have no choice – I hear your voice_ **

**_Feels like flying_ **

“Killian?” she whispers, basking in the sight of him.

He’s there.

She moves towards him, desperate to touch him but pulls back in horror when her hand sails right through his face.

“It’s alright, love.” He reassures her sadly.

“What? I don’t understand-”

“I’m here, Emma. Just… not….” he trails off, giving her a smile.

Tears flow freely down her cheeks as she tries to take in what’s happening.

“I work with Zeus.” He explains. “Helping defeat Hades granted me some higher purpose – I don’t know the specifics. I just know I’m doing good where I am.”

“You’re an angel?” she asks, causing him to chuckle.

“Not quite. Just a spirit helping others who’ve lost their way.”

She shook her head, still overwhelmed with disbelief.

“Killian? How are you here?”

“My gift from Zeus. I can visit you, whenever you need me.” He explains.

“But I need you always. I miss you.” She pleads, voice cracking with emotion.

“And I, you, love. More than you’ll ever know. But it’s complicated.” He struggled. “I can only come when I feel your pull. When I feel you need me most. It’s the best he could do for me.” His voice is soft and calm. Peaceful.

“Whenever I need you?”

“Aye, Swan. I’ll be here.”

****

**_In the midnight hour_ **

**_I can feel your power_ **

She can always tell when he’s there. She doesn’t know how – there’s no flash of light or whoosh of sound, but she can feel him, sense his presence.

It’s always when she’s alone in the depths of the night.

She can feel him and she’s finally calm; at peace. It’s like he brings all of the love that’s seeped out, back to the surface and he drives the chill away and envelops her in warmth; just by being there. His aura fills the room with color and drowns out the menacing grey that lingers when she’s alone.

He smiles and Emma feels complete.

**_It’s like a dream_ **

**_No end and no beginning_ **

**_You’re here with me – it’s like a dream_ **

Some nights they sit and talk into the early hours of the morning until he’s called away from her. Other night’s they sit in silence, basking in each other, memorizing every detail of each other’s faces, content with just being.

“I wish I could hold you.” She whispers.

“I’d love nothing more.” He admits, his hand ghosting over her cheek.

Emma closes her eyes, wishing she could feel just a simple touch from his fingertips.

He stays, watching over her until she’s fast asleep.

When she wakes to the morning light, he’s gone. She gets up with a heavy heart and begins her day, praying for the morning she wakes and he’s there again. For good.

 

 

**_Oh God I think I’m falling_ **

**_Out of the sky – I close my eyes_ **

**_Heaven help me_ **

“I can’t do this anymore.” She sighs, aggravated.

She’s had the worst day, and him being there is making it worse. She just wants to escape. Forget. She’s hurting and she needs him there with her… but not like this.

“Emma, Love. Talk to me.” He begs.

“I can’t because you’re not here! I can’t do this anymore, Killian! I can’t!”

The barrier breaks and the sobs begin to shake her body.

“You promised me you’d move on! You can’t keep coming here like this – it’s not fair! It’s killing me and I just – I need you to go.” Her cries are frantic.

Killian doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. He watches her with sad eyes; his heart breaking at her anguish.

“Just go! I don’t want you here anymore! Leave!” She screams at him in anger.

“As you wish, love.” His words are tender, almost like a caress.

When she looks back he’s gone and she collapses onto the sofa, letting the gut-wrenching sobs take over.

 

**_When you call my name_ **

**_It’s like a little prayer_ **

It’s been eight days since that terrible night and she hasn’t seen him since. She’s grateful in a way, yet saddened all the same.

She’s grateful that he’s respected her wishes; she’s been coping better since that night. Once her cries had died out, she’d started the next day with a fresh mind and found herself coping better with every day. She’s managed to smile more; specifically today, her little brother’s birthday. They’d had a little party for him at the loft and it had been a wonderful gathering, surrounded by family and friends.

But she’s also saddened. Saddened that the one person she’d wanted to share that happiness with - the one person she wants to talk about her progress with, isn’t here.

“I don’t know if you can hear me,” She starts, feeling a little foolish for talking to an empty room, but she has to try. “But I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry. I didn’t mean what I said… although you probably know that. I miss you and I wish you were here.”

Her hope deflates at the still empty room.

“I missed you too.”

Her eyes dart across the room to see his smiling face, staring back at her.

“You came.”

“I told you I would. Whenever you needed me.”

He laughs in relief, overjoyed at his return. He takes a few steps towards her, hesitant to approach.

“Although… this will be my last visit. For a while, anyway.” He informs her with regret.

“What? Why?” she asks, panic rising.

“Because you no longer need me.”

“No! Killian, I do-” she argues.

“You misunderstand, love. It’s a good thing.” He tries to calm her. “Remember I told you what my purpose was?”

“To help lost souls find their way.” She responds, realization dawning on her.

“Aye. You’ve found your way, love. You’re almost back on track.” He offers.

Emma absorbs his words, comfort and sadness coursing through her.

“Will I see you again?”

“Only when you really need to. But for now…”

She nods.

“I love you. I always will.” She promises.

“I love you more. My happy ending.”

He leans forward, placing a kiss to her forehead. Emma closes her eyes, gasping when she feels the cool tingle of his lips touch her skin.

“I felt that! Killian, I felt-” her eyes open in excitement.

He was gone.

 

**_Just like a prayer_ **

**_I’ll take you there_ **


End file.
